mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
