Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
