Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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