Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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