I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
it glows. i had to have it.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
