I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
should my penis look like a turkey
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
