I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
