He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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