So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
