I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
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