You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize