Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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