Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
