Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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