A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize