Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just invented taco cereal.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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