A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
