If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
