I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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