I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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