So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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