it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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