and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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