dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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