Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
