If that was your dad, he is hot
I think I died a long time ago.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
