we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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