he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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