guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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