thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
