this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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