SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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