she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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