Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
