We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
