If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
