Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
