we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
