could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Enjoy the penises
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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