Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
