# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize