Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just want to make out with him forever
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
