He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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