wat bout pragnant strippers??
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
