i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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