he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
