i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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