I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
