just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
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