Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize