u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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