Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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