Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
