She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
