thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
