We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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