I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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