I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
