she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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