I love black thongs
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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