Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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